Our lives are made up of specific key events that have occurred in our lives that eventually create the foundation for who we become, what we believe and what is most important to us. It creates our Purpose.
When we were young, we were not old enough to have the wisdom to understand how to sort that which we experienced in our life and find the lesson within. Our greatest teacher in life can come from the good and the bad experiences. How those experiences shape our life for the good or bad is completely up to us.
Case in point, my story.
I am from a family of four brothers and three sisters. I am the second youngest of the eight. My brothers and sisters and I have always been very close. We enjoyed playing on the farm together, working together, praying together and laughing together. My foundational belief is that everything is better with family.
On the flip side of that, I can take the same experience of having a great family where we all enjoyed one another, and find the negative side of that experience, which was, it was hard to be seen or heard or stand out in anyway. That was then compounded when at the age of 8 years old, my parents took in a 5 year old foster brother who came from a very dysfunctional family. He was a mess when he came to live with us. If I wasn’t seen or heard before then, I pretty much disappeared after he came to live with us.
It makes sense after hearing my story that my foundational belief that everything works better with family, would show up throughout my career and life. 10 years in advertising and marketing helping small business owners be seen and heard, 15 years creating business groups, to teach them how to see each other on a deeper level and to create community that increased everyone’s business. Making my family a priority and creating community that sees and hears one another, is just what I do.
On the flipside however, I have spent most of my life either marrying or working for people who don’t see or hear me. Is it them or is it me that is at fault? It is both. If my limiting belief is that no one sees or hears me, I will find the type of people who are self absorbed with themselves to support my belief that I won’t be seen or heard. And even if I did find someone who wasn’t self absorbed, I didn’t know how to let them see or hear me.
To be able to recognize what your purpose in life is and be able to trace it back to the experience that birthed your purpose, is almost as powerful as identifying what is stopping you from fully living in that purpose. I always knew I carried family and community, but I never realized that what was stopping me from fully having that in my own life, the negative belief that I created from that same experience. The power of creating a new Vision for my life that we can all Shine As One, has begun to open up doors for relationships in my life with people who see and hear me. I no longer feel resentful for having to go through what I did and I can actually look back and thank the circumstance that caused the pain, because it has caused me to be who I am today.
As children, we weren’t capable of looking at the situation and finding the good in a bad situation. As an adult we do. It is our choice how we choose to look at those events in our lives that have caused us the greatest pain and see how we can use that pain for the good. What experience in your life has had the greatest impact for good in your life? What negative experience in your life has impacted your life the most? I bet if you were to look closely at both, you would find that they have both created the person you have become today and your purpose for being here. Whatever has our attention, determines which direction we will ultimately end up going.
What is your Vision for your life? What kind of life have you always dreamed of having? Give your pain purpose by creating a Vision that empowers you and leads you to the life you love.
Here's to Living!